Entries from July 2005 ↓

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My female boss today banned all form of profanity in the office. Her apparent intolerance with cursing and swearing, especially in Cantonese form, called for a quick office ‘briefing’. Impromptu briefings like this are never about something positive.

Ban on swearing? Let’s see now… Hmm… It’s like removing vowels from the alphabet. How are we going to construct proper sentences in our daily conversations? Jezzuzmuthafuckinkrist.

We are baffled at what ticked her off, but could be due to long term exposure to us overzealous-cursing-in-need-of-destressing-designers in a tight enclosed environment.

A RM5 fine per profanity has been implemented. Super. Just fucking great.

Taken on the journey to Singapore (which I will write about shortly) on the fabulous, but pricey coach Aeroline (”A Convenient Way to Fly”) – yours truly demonstrated great capacity and talent in emulating GT Queens in their famous sexy poses.

The art of GT Queen posing fundamentally lies in the fingers. In general, numbers 1, 2 and 5 are favoured, as this has proven to be effective in attracting legions of fans. The technique, as shown in the limited edition imagery below, is an exquisite art form. Many hours of practice was required to obtain such picture perfect poses. Just mind the not-so-professional male model. (forced by girlfriend!)

Step 1: 1 finger!

Step 2: 2 fingers!

Step 3: 5 fingers!

And I’m spent…

Talentless talent : Verne
Professional photographer + girlfriend : Miss J

Source: Big-Boys.com via anonymous email

If you were that close to bursting your bladder, what would you do?